Fathers and abortion
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Sadly, estimates are that up to 70% of all relationships end after an abortion experience.
The way in which a man is affected can be influenced by the role he took in the decision itself. Some of the ways a man may be involved include:
The father who was against the abortion and tried to prevent it
The father who appeared to be ambivalent about the abortion, who left the woman alone to face the pregnancy on her own or did not go to great lengths to prevent it
The father who forced the abortion decision or threatened to withdraw support if abortion was not chosen
The father who did not know about the abortion until after it occurred or was never certain that it happened
The man who married a woman who was post-abortive prior to their marriage
A man does not have to be the father of the aborted child to be affected by the abortion decision. He may have:
Driven the woman to the clinic
Provided money for the abortion
Encouraged her to have the abortion
Offered no help and done nothing to stop the abortion
If you have been involved in abortion in any way, there is hope and there is help. For more information,
call us today on our men’s line: (703) 841-3833
or send us an email: info@helpafterabortion.org.
grandparents
Grandparents may struggle with the knowledge of an abortion and the loss of a grandchild. Their reactions are also linked to their involvement in the abortion decision. Parents of the mother undergoing the abortion may have forced the abortion, may have been unaware of the abortion until it was over, or may have been supportive of their daughter’s decision.
Grandparents may exhibit some of these symptoms:
Grief or sadness over having lost a grandchild
Anger at their child for becoming pregnant or having an abortion
Anger at the son’s or daughter’s partner or partner’s parents
Concern for their child, wanting to resolve their child’s emotional/behavioral issues
Guilt, particularly if they forced the decision or if they believe that they missed the cues that signaled a pregnancy
SIBLINGS
Individuals who have lost a sibling to abortion may struggle with profound questions throughout their lives. Siblings can suffer in these ways:
The surviving children of earlier or later pregnancies in a family may exhibit a survivor syndrome similar to that seen in children who lose a sibling to cancer or accidental death
They may struggle with being “replacement children” or “chosen children”
These children often have high expectations placed upon them by their parents
Sometimes they can experience a lack of proper bonding with their mothers
Some children may sense that someone is missing in the family system through intuition
OTHERS WANTING TO HELP
Extended family members and friends may have questions about how to facilitate the mother’s healing. Although you can never force a person to seek healing, you can casually share information about post-abortion healing and point them in the direction for help.
How to Talk to a Friend Who’s Had an Abortion
How to Sow the Seeds of Healing